"Hi my name is......" Let's talk about addiction

I knew when I first started conceptualizing this blog I would talk a lot about addiction on here.  The world of addiction has been a huge part of my life and my story, taught me many valuable life lessons, and has played a critical role in how I view the world and other people.  And this is MY story with addiction.  My opinions.  My experiences.

I realize addiction comes in many shapes and sizes.  And the experiences are varied.  My experiences, heartaches, triumphs, and lessons learned were largely shaped through the world of addiction to drugs and alcohol.

Addiction seems to be accompanied by a lot of shame.  Brene Brown has done large amounts of research about shame and says the difference between guilt and shame:  Guilt is "I have done something bad".  Shame is "I AM bad"  Shame is a focus on Self.  "I AM a mistake".  Guilt is a focus on behavior.  "I made a mistake"  She says if you were to put shame in a petri dish, there are 3 things that will make it grow exponentially:  secrecy, silence, and judgment.

I don't like the shame.  I think it's a huge reason why so many addicts never recover.  Or why they become addicts in the first place.  And according to Brene, the antidote to shame is to douse it with empathy.  Empathy:  the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.  We can't fight shame unless we talk about the things that are causing the shame.

Addiction runs in my family.  On both sides.  My brother is an alcoholic/addict.  He tried alcohol for the first time at a very young age at a neighbors house.  He was caught with marijuana at school for the first time in the 8th grade.  He slowly spiraled out of control with drugs and alcohol throughout high school until he eventually became a non-functioning alcoholic/addict (unable to keep a job, have a place to live, provide basic means for himself, etc.) .  His drug of choice is alcohol, but he has also abused nearly every drug you can imagine, some of which I'm sure I don't know about (and don't want to know about).

He has been through countless rehabilitation programs (I honestly lost track).  Some more effective than others but none able to keep him sober for any significant amount of time.  He has been in and out of jail over 50 times (mostly for public intoxication charges).  This does not count the nights he was put in the "drunk tank".  His longest stay in jail was about a year.  I was grateful he was in jail (oh the irony of that).  Because I knew he was "safe" and he was alive.  Very telling that I felt he was more safe in jail than he was out of jail.  Even the time he was locked up in jail with significant and debilitating injuries after being beaten badly on the streets (he claims by cops).  I still felt he was safer in jail.  My sister and I showed up at court one day and literally begged the judge to put him in jail.  My brother was, understandably, pissed.  The judge complied.

He has been transported by ambulance to nearly every ER in the Salt Lake Valley, has been in the ICU at least 4 times I know of, and has spent several weeks (on more than one occasion) in the psychiatric ward.  His medical history is pages and pages (and pages) long.  He was also homeless for a period of time, spending time at the VOA (Volunteers of America) detox center--God bless those people, as well as the Road Home, a shelter for homeless people.  Or just passed out on the streets in whatever city he happened to be in.

In June of 2011, my brother was drunk walking/staggering in the dark, tried to cross a busy road (at least that's what we presume), and was hit by a car going approximately 40 miles an hour.  He was life-flighted to the hospital.  Two police officers showed up at my parents house late that evening and told them Burk had been involved in an auto-pedestrian accident.  "He has head trauma and has been life flighted to the hospital".  That was all they could tell them.

(the helicopter that brought him to the hospital)

My sister called me with the news.  She was on her way to the hospital.  I told her to call me when she got there to tell me how bad it was.  This may sound shocking to some people.  You'd think that when a family member has been life-flighted to a hospital in critical condition with head trauma and multiple broken bones, everyone would jump in their cars and be on their way.  But this wasn't the first (or second) time he had been life-flighted.  Nor was it the first (or third or fourth) time he had been transported to ICU.  So I was waiting to see how "bad" it really was.  He has literally cheated death dozens and dozens of times.

That's what addiction does.  It slowly desensitizes the people around you.  So injuries or events that once seemed traumatic start to become "routine".

My sister called me an hour later and said "It's bad.  You should probably get down here".  At that moment, I didn't know whether to pray for him to live or pray for him to die.  Yet another horror of addiction.  If the addict you love is "bad" enough, sometimes you want them to die--for all the pain to end.  For their sake.  For your sake.  I'm not proud of those feelings nor am I ashamed.  Just being honest.  When it feels like there is no hope for recovery, and your addict apparently has no "rock bottom", death feels like the merciful solution for everyone.

(took this right before he was rushed into emergency surgery for a shattered leg)

He lived (after a 3 week stay in ICU and 1 week stay on a regular floor with a 24 hour "guard"--for his safety and the safety of the medical staff).  His months and months of recovery after the accident was nothing short of hell.  For him AND for all of us who helped him live.

I've felt nearly every emotion possible for my brother through his decades of addiction.  Anger, frustration, disgust, pity, as well as love, empathy, and compassion and every emotion in between.  Oh the anger.  For the hell he put my parents through.  For the hell he put our family through.  For the hell he put himself through.  Oh the compassion.  For the worthlessness he felt, his lack of control, and the torment and utter misery he went through.

I've stopped to pick him up off the side of the road, face-down in the dirt, waving people off who were trying to call 911 (or the police).  I've also turned him away when he showed up at my door in nothing but a hospital gown and his ICU bracelets.  I didn't even know he had been in the ICU.  And he had nowhere else to go.  That was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

Depends on the day.  The hour.  The moment.  The situation.  My tolerance level.  The other people (or kids) I need to "protect".  There never seems to be a right answer or an easy road.  And ultimately, all I could control was how I let it affect me.  I couldn't "fix" him.  I couldn't make him stop.  He was/is broken.  But I guess we all are in some way or another.

But I can say I have never been embarrassed of him.  I have always proudly claimed him as my brother even during his worst moments.  And I have always believed in his ability to DO more and BE more.  I have told him this countless times throughout the years.  And I meant it with every fiber of my being.

I think I can attribute this to two things.  First, knowing my parents love him (and all their kids) NO MATTER what we did/do.  That doesn't mean they approved of some of his life choices, but I have never doubted their love for him (or me).   And second, I know every person has worth no matter their actions.  I believe in second chances (and third and fourth and fifth chances too).

Something my brother often said when we begged and pleaded for him to stop using: "You have no idea what it's like to be an addict."  My response was always "And you have no idea what it's like to be the person who loves the addict."

I hope to use this space as a safe place to talk and educate others about addiction.  A safe place for the addicts.  And a safe place for the people who love the addict.  I plan to share more stories and experiences I have personally had with addiction and my brother.  I have also asked several other people to help me as well.  Stories from people who love addicts.

And if nothing else, I hope we can build a community of people who can support each other and help each other through the often unbearable world of addiction and life in general.

So stay tuned.  There's much more coming.

If YOU or someone you love suffers from addiction, first of all, do NOT watch the show intervention.   More importantly, I get it.  I do.  You are NOT alone.  Hang in there.  Please hang in there.  And find help.  Addicts do NOT get better on their own.  The people who love them don't either.


If you made it all the way through this, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

{Disclaimer:  My intent is not to exploit addicts or the people who love them.  My intent is to hopefully help dispel some of the shame associated with addiction.  To empathize with those who love the addict.  And to help addicts understand their worth and inherent right to be loved.  My brother is aware I am writing about him and has given me his express verbal permission to do so.  I am also fiercely protective of my brother, so if you have something unkind to say about him specifically, please keep it to yourself.  He's his own worst critic.  Trust me.}

There ARE good strangers in this world. I have proof.

Here's a story worth telling.  And remembering.

We spent the weekend at Starvation reservoir camping and boating.  Despite the hurricane force winds for 48 hours and buckets full of dirt Caleb managed to scatter around the tent, we had a great time.

We of course stayed out on the lake longer than we should have and were in a rush to get back home for Father's day dinner at my parents house.  

But we were "way low on fuel, Mav" (more like coasting on fumes) so we had to stop for gas about 20 minutes from home.  Mike filled up the tank while I walked around to figure out how we were going to get the boat back out of an awkward gas station driveway.

We got back on the road and headed home.  After backing the boat into the driveway, I was pulling kids out of the car as cups, crumbs, clothes, and toys toppled out with them.  

And then a man and a woman in a silver SUV pulled up in front of our house.  I didn't recognize them. The man got out of the car and said "Where's your husband?" in a cheerful voice.

Mike came out from the back of the boat and the following conversation took place.

Man:  "Hey.  I saw you on the freeway."
Mike:  Blank stare.  Thinking "oh great, I cut him off and he chased me down".
Man:  "We saw you pull out onto 800 and something flew off the top of your boat.  We realized it was your wallet so we stopped.  Everything went flying out everywhere, but we think we got it all back in."

Now Mike and I were both just staring.  Completely surprised by what he was saying.

Then we just kept saying "Thank you.  Thank you so much"  Over and over and over again.

I was honestly so surprised I didn't even know what else to say.  We certainly should have given him some cash for his trouble and asked his name and baked him some cookies and taken him for a boat ride.  Something.  Anything.  But we just stared.  And said thank you.

When Mike filled up the car, he must have set his wallet on top of the boat and forgot it there.  A very uncharacteristic thing for Mike, completely normal for me. 

Here's the thing.  If I'm being completely honest, and I had witnessed this happen to someone else, I would have thought "Oh man, what was that?  Looked like a wallet.  That super sucks"  and kept driving.  On a really good day I may have thought "I should probably stop and pick that up for them" but then I most likely would have come up with a dozen excuses why not to.  The road is way too busy.  I've got a sleeping kid in the back.  I'm in a hurry to an appt.  How would I even get it back to them?  And on and on and on.

But not this man and woman.  They saw Mike's wallet.  They were on a large, incredibly busy road.  They must have stopped traffic.  They were obviously headed somewhere.  For all I know, they were headed in the opposite direction headed to a Father's day dinner of their own.

But they stopped.  And they chased down all the cards and cash they could find.  And put it all back in the wallet.  And found our address from Mike's drivers license (at least I assume that's how they found us) and DROVE THE WALLET TO OUR HOUSE and gave it all back to us.

In situations like these, I think we often say God was watching out for us.  But even more accurately, these PEOPLE were watching out for us.  They stopped.  They gathered.  They drove.  And there was nothing in it for them.  No reason to do it other than they obviously know WE ALL BELONG TO EACH OTHER.  And God watches out for us by expecting all of us to watch out for each other.  To take care of each other.  To help each other.  To stand by one another.  And make life just a little bit more bearable.

My faith in humanity was restored a little last night.  After a particularly hard week and feeling as though kindness towards one another is crumbling beneath our feet, this couple proved otherwise.  
I'll never forget what they did.  It changed my heart.  It restored some of my hope and faith in other people.

This wasn't about a returned wallet.  It's just a wallet.  And we could cancel the cards.  Sure it's a hassle, but not that big of a deal.  

This couple obviously knows love doesn't just say things or think things, LOVE DOES THINGS.
A seemingly small thing made a huge impact on my heart.  They did what we all should do.  What would this world be like if we all made a little more effort to watch out for one another?

And the best part, it all happened right in front of my kids, who were able to see first hand there are GOOD people in this world who do good things for one simple reason:  we should take care of each other.  It's always the best use of time.

Why it's so hard to take "good" pictures of your own kids

There's a reason, well several reasons, why professional photographers tell you not to attempt taking certain types of photos of your own kids. 

The every day stuff is one thing.  But when you try to gather them in one place and have them look semi-normal and do what you ask them to do, that's entirely different.

My kids will never behave for me like they would for someone else.  And my guess is, yours won't either.

These photos should speak for themselves.

My kids:

Her kids:

Next time I'm hiring a professional.  :)

More details on the reason behind these Funbooth photos in a future post.

Sorrow that the eye can't see.

Here's something I'm sure of.  Everyone has their "thing".  Or multiple things.  Those things that make their life hard.  Everyone's life is hard.  Life itself is hard.  

And one person's "thing" isn't any more significant than another person's thing (or things).  We all suffer.  We all grieve.  We all hurt.  We all struggle.

We all long for connection and love and acceptance.

In a discussion about suffering with my friend, Natalie, she said:

"God doesn't ask us all to walk the same paths or suffer in the same ways.  He only asks that we walk in unison, together, bearing another's burdens that they may be light."

In one of my favorite hymns we sing at my church it says:

"Who am I to judge another
When I walk imperfectly?
In the quiet heart is hidden
Sorrow that the eye can't see"

We all suffer.  We all grieve.  We all hurt.  And more often than not, we can't always see that suffering in others.  But it's there.  I promise you that.  Sometime's we think someone has it all together, or their life is easier than ours.  Or we don't understand why people act the way they do, or say the things they say.  But I'm sure they have their "things".  And they don't have it all together.  And they don't have an easy life.  We all have sorrow that no one sees.

So we walk together.  And lift each other up.  And bear each other's burdens and lighten the load.  Because whether we see it or not, it's there.  Sorrow, that the eye can't see.

It never gets old.

Sometimes if we're having a particularly grumpy day, we have the Monday blues, or we just need a good laugh, we play around on the Photo Booth on my computer.  

I die laughing every time.  
It never gets old.

Re-born. It's transplant day!

My friend, Lisa, is getting her bone marrow transplant today and tomorrow.  It's called a Second Birthday because it's like you're being reborn.

And may we pause for a minute and celebrate the fact that she kicked cancer OUT of her body.  Stage 4 Lymphoma and her screens came back clean.  Incredible.

If you haven't read about Lisa, start here.

For those of you who participated in our peace project, I thank you with every ounce of sincerity in my body.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.

The collage is finished.  Just need to print it and get it up on her wall!

Here are some closer shots so you can find yourselves.

And here's a little slideshow of all of you peace givers.  I'm hoping Nickell can just loop it over and over on the days it feels hard to fight!  



Please continue to remember her in your prayers.  There is power in numbers.   And she still has many hard days ahead of her.

HAPPY SECOND BIRTHDAY my friend.  You have an army of people supporting you.  We ALL love you and may your soul have peace during your fight.

Walking each other home.

I grew up playing night games (steal the flag, no bears are out tonight, kick the can), riding bikes, penny-tapping, and general neighborhood terrorizing.

My parents were pretty liberal in allowing me to play within the neighborhood and stay out past dark.  But according to my dad, "Nothing good happens after midnight" so we always had to be home before then.

When it was time to come home, I always had fear about the final stretch to my house.  My parents never came to pick me up.  We just had to be home by a certain time.  Sometimes I had a bike.  Sometimes I didn't.  But on my street, there were NO street lights.  And it was daaaaaark.  And we had a sketchy neighbor.  

So if my younger brother wasn't with me (more often than not he was, thankfully), I would ride my bike as fast as humanly possible, or sprint until I jumped through our garage door into the safety of our home.

Sometimes I'd try to talk a friend into walking down my street with me and having their parent come get them at my house (totally self-serving, I know).  Or other times I'd call my mom or dad and ask them to come stand in our driveway so I could see them as I came down the dark street.

I hated, hated, hated going down that dark, un-lit street by myself. (Did I mention it was dark?)

I saw this quote and and the more I think about it, the more I love it.  It reminds me so much of this experience.  I felt safe when someone was WITH me.  When someone was "walking me home".   

They weren't doing the work for me.  They weren't carrying me.  They were just WITH me.  And just knowing they were there, made me feel safe.  Or safER.  Sometimes I still felt a little scared, but the fear was so much easier to deal with when I had someone walking with me.

That's how life is too.  It can be scary.  And hard.  And daaaaaark.  And there is a lot of fear.  But we're all here together.  WITH each other.  And we're meant to lift each other up, help each other out, side by side, and provide safety for one another whenever possible.  We're not meant to walk alone.  In darkness, or light.

Together, we've got this.

"We're all just walking each other home"  

Real Life Stories--Women of Inspiration. My friend. She has cancer.

I'm starting a series on my blog.  "Real Life Stories--Women of Inspiration".   I'm inspired by strong women who show up every day and share their stories with the world.  I'll be interviewing women from all different life situations that I want to learn more about who inspire me to show up and live a better life story.  And then I'll share their stories with all of you (and my kids).  

The first person I wanted to feature is my friend.

You know those e-mails you never want to get?  Those ones that tell you one of your childhood friends has cancer.  Yea, I got one of those.  And though it was obviously devastating news, it's turning out to be a defining period of my life.

Lisa, who I also affectionately call Nickell (her maiden name), and I met when I was 12.  We played competition soccer together.  So we're not just friends, we're teammates.  We played soccer together for nearly 10 years. 

She's had more than her fair share of health problems.  And then got hit with Stage 4 non-hodgkins lymphoma.  A game changer to say the least.

No one wants to hear the word cancer associated with themselves or someone they love.  But along with the hell associated with cancer, there is also an element of hope.  A look into the human spirit at its finest, bravest moments.

She decided to shave her head before chemo started taking her hair.  She wanted to be in control of whatever she could.  So I asked her if I could photograph the "hair funeral".  Watching her shave her head was one of the bravest things I have ever witnessed.  Those pictures are still too painful and intimate for her to share, but here are a few after she was done.

Here is the interview I did with her.  And stick around until the end cause we're doing something really cool for her (that can also be used as a template for other people to use for those they love with cancer) and I NEED your help!!!

1.  Give me a quick peek at your story:  I was born and raised in Utah.  I played soccer since before I can remember.  I played in high school for Alta.  I'ma  lover of all sports and outdoor activities.  What I lack in size, I made up for in my determination.  I'm very competitive.  I went to nursing school and met my amazing husband at the University of Utah.  I've been married for 11 years.  On September 5th our life changed when I was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer.  I've been battling for my life ever since.

2.  Tell me an "every day moment" you are grateful for:  Right now, I am grateful for waking up alive each day.  Getting to tell my family that I love them, and giving my niece a hug.

3.  What is one ambition you have right now:  I want to start a health clinic on wheels for the homeless.  Similar to the 4th Street Clinic, but mobile.

4.  If you could speak on anything to a large group of women, what would you talk about?  That one single person can make a difference.  You, alone, can make a change in the world.  You don't need thousands of dollars and thousands of people to help make a difference.  What you, alone choose to do each and every day can change someone's world.

5.  What does the phrase "create a good life story" mean to you?  To me, it means living every single day to its fullest.  Live each day like it could be your last.

6.  Tell me something someone taught you that made an impact on your life  Right before my grandma died, she told me to never hesitate to tell someone that you love and appreciate them.  Don't assume that they already know.  It's okay if you told them yesterday...say it again.  If you're feeling it in the moment, say it.

7.  Name one event in your life that has made the greatest impact on the course of your life story  Becoming a wish granter for the Make-A-Wish Foundation.  Also, going to Haiti.

8.  What is something you want to accomplish you haven't yet?  I want to have children

9.  What photographs are you most grateful for from your childhood or teen years?  I'm most grateful for photos of my family and close friends.  I'm relying a lot upon those people right now, and it's comforting to look back at older photos and see that it's the same group of people that have continually supported me through whatever life throws my way.

10.  What are you most proud of?  Never quitting.  Never giving up.

11.  Tell me something you are sure of:  I'm sure there is a level of happiness that comes from serving someone else that can't be reached any other way.

12.  What is your favorite quote or your life motto?  I have two:  "Life's most persistent and urgent questions is, 'What are you doing for others?'"  Martin Luther King Jr., and "You must be the change you wish to see in the world"  Gandhi

13.  What is your favorite part about yourself (not a physical trait)?  I really care for those less fortunate than me, and try to do whatever I can to help them.

14.  What type of photographs do you wish you had more of?  I wish I had more photographs from my honeymoon and dating my husband.  

15.  What is something you do to help drive away fear or anxiety?  I used to exercise to drive away fear and anxiety.  Now, I hand out hamburgers to the homeless.

And for fun:

Favorite Book:  Oh, the Places You'll Go!  by Dr. Seuss

Favorite Family tradition:  Dutch Oven Cook off at the cabin

Something you enjoy doing with your spouse:  playing tennis

Talent you wish you had:  I wish I could play a musical instrument

Favorite meal:  It changes weekly.  Right now I would say it's cantaloupe.  Yep, just cantaloupe

If you never had to do one specific things again, what would it be:  Go through a round of chemo.  Or, on a lighter note, fill the car with gas

Favorite show on TV:  Vampire Diaries

Something that scares you:  Dying without having told my family I love them first

Favorite thing about your husband:  Brian can always make me laugh.  It doesn't matter what trial we're facing he helps me face it with humor.  And he is just so kind.  Brian is the kindest man I know.

Type of candy you can't life without:  ALL CANDY.  Anything you would find in the candy isle.  I need it all

What's something you think about often:  I think a lot about hunger in the world.  People going hungry.

If you don't know Lisa, you're missing out.  For those of us who get to call her a friend, well, we're pretty lucky.  She's definitely one-of-a-kind.  She's nearly killed me (literally) on several different adventures we've been on together.  Once in a very sketchy mini-van ride, another where I nearly drowned.  I blame her for my fear of water.

Here's where I need your help.  For any of you who know and/or love someone with cancer, you know how brutal it is.  Not just physically, but emotionally and mentally.  The days are long.  The weeks even longer.  Because her cancer is so severe, she has to be admitted to the hospital each time she receives chemo.  She stays there for at least 6 or 7 days, often more, at a time.

It gets lonely.  And hard.  And scary.  And there are days where all she can do is draw on the strength of others.  Her walls in the hospital are lined with pictures of people who love her.  To remind her why she's fighting.

Right now, she needs something more than ever to take her mind off what is still ahead.  She still has a long way to go--more chemo, then a bone marrow transplant.

Lisa is famous for her "peace sign" in pictures.  Always flashing that peace sign.

So.  We (she's in on this) want to collect as MANY pictures of people flashing the peace sign as we can and put them in a huge collage (I'm talkin' huge) for her to hang on the wall in the hospital and in her home.   Even if you don't know her, we'd love for you to participate.  My guess is we ALL know someone affected by cancer (it's so rampant) so we know how desperate people get for hope.  And when Lisa sees pictures of people doing the peace sign with HER in mind, it brings her hope.  And peace to her soul.

There is strength in numbers.  And strength in knowing people are thinking about you and people CARE.

We'll be collecting pictures for ONE WEEK.  Deadline is next Thursday, March 27th.  Doesn't need to be anything fancy.  Just a picture of you, your kids, co-workers, family, strangers, whatever doing the peace sign. Then e-mail it to me.  ltross17@yahoo.com  Please title the e-mail "PEACE PICTURE" so we don't lose any.  That's it.  (You can e-mail it directly from your camera phone.  If you don't know how to do that, ask a kid.  They'll know how:)  )

You can also send more than one picture with different groups of people.  We'll take as many as we can get.

Once we have them, we'll make a killer poster.  And post it so everyone can see.  And hopefully make it into a useable template for anyone else who wants to use it to do a similar project for someone they love with cancer.

Thanks in advance for your help.  My friend needs a boost.  A push to keep fighting.  She's a fighter.  But no one can fight cancer alone.

Love you Nickell.

We now declare the following week "Peace Sign Picture" week.  I gave myself power to do that.


To read more "Real Life Stories--Women of Inspiration" interviews, CLICK HERE.

The Road Home

"We envision a community that recognizes the inherent dignity of those who live in poverty and homelessness"

My brother was homeless a few different times in his life.  Our family will forever be grateful to the Road Home for helping keep him alive during a period in his life where we (his family) were trying out that whole "tough love" thing with an addict.

The Road Home saves lives.  And I'm not being dramatic.  It saved my brothers life on more than one occasion.  And though he may not have a lot of nice things to say about his experience there (which is understandable) I personally am thankful he had a warm place to stay when I was unable to provide him with one.  One of the hardest experiences of my life.

Whenever I go outside in Utah winters, I always think of homeless people.

Over the past 3 years, there has been a 300% increase in families needing help from the Road home.
Right now there are close to 1000 people being assisted by the Road Home.  And that's just the people who go there to stay.  There are many homeless people who find other solutions.

(pulled this image off the Internet.  Not the Road Home, but gives you an idea)

I know there is a lot of judgement attached to a homeless person.  But the truth is, it could be any of us. If you didn't have family to help you out, and you lost your job and couldn't find another one (which is a reality), where would you go?  What would you do?

OR (and this seems to be the bigger issue) if there is a mental health issue and no insurance for treatment.  A HUGE problem in our society which I have witnessed first hand when trying to find resources for my brother.  Which often leads to self-medicating (thus the rampant problem of drugs and alcohol among homeless people).

 (image from the Internet)

There are a lot of good people at the homeless shelter.  There are a lot of KIDS at the homeless shelter. Victims of consequences that came from choices that weren't their choices.

So when I have a chance to give, or donate, I always choose the Road Home.  And I'm hoping to be able to get more involved as a volunteer as my kids get older.

(image from Internet)

A few years ago, not long after my brother had stayed there, my family did a clothing drive for the Road Home in an effort to give back to them.

We posted something on Facebook to family and friends.  That was it.  My front room was overtaken by donations.

First we filled up a trailer.  We ended up needing to rent a UHaul to get all of the donations down to the Homeless shelter.

Every time I came home from errands, my porch would be filled with donations.  Turns out I know a lot of amazingly generous people!

The truth is, most people want to give.  And many of us have the resources to give.  We just need to know WHERE to give.

If you are interested in learning more about the Road Home, please visit their website.  There are a lot of great opportunities for giving.

**You can donate money.  It only takes $9 to shelter one person for one night.  You can do a one time donation (for any amount) or you can have money deducted monthly.

**You can donate "in-kind" things.  On the website, they list what the urgent needs currently are.  Right now this is the list:

Urgent Needs

• Towels & Pillows
• Coats & Jackets (all sizes)
• Jeans & Warm clothing (all sizes)
• Boots & Shoes (all sizes)
• Socks (all sizes)
• Underwear (new, all sizes)
• Blankets (twin, full, & queen)
• Diapers (sizes 3-5)
• Baby Bottles & Formula

**You can also donate to help people who have been moved to the Palmer Court Apartments, a supportive housing development that helps formerly chronically homeless family's or individuals.  They have different "kits" needed for the apartments.  You can find the list here or through the Road Home website.

There are also many opportunities to volunteer. 

You can find a list of ongoing opportunities here or group opportunities here.

When I was a youth, my church youth group used to drive to the homeless shelter once a year and pick up a bunch of kids.  We brought them back to our community pool and let them swim for a few hours, fed them dinner, and sent each kid home with a backpack full of school supplies.  Now that I'm an adult, I realize what a HUGE logistical task this would have been.  But it was an amazing, and VERY memorable experience for me as a youth.  So grateful for my leaders who organized that event.

It kills me that we live in a world where there a millions of people without a home.  I hope to be actively involved throughout my life in finding solutions to that unacceptable problem.

We Belong To Each Other.

"To me, Jesus sounded like an ordinary guy who was utterly amazing. He helped people. He figured out what they really needed and tried to point them toward that. He healed people who were hurting. He spent time with the kinds of people most of us spend our lives avoiding. It didn’t seem to matter to Jesus who these people were because He was all about engagement."  Bob Goff, Love Does

And because words mean little without action, here are some action steps each of us can take:

1.  Donate the excess things you have in your home and take them to the homeless shelter.  If you need some motivation to gather your things, I highly recommend reading "More or Less" or "Margin".  

2.  Get a group together and do one of the group volunteer opportunities

3.  If your kids are older, consider volunteering AT the Road Home

4.  If you are able to provide food, consider doing a dinner at the Road Home (details on their website)

5.  Donate money to help shelter an individual or family at the Road Home

6.  Do a clothing drive in your neighborhood to take to the Road Home.  This was AWESOME for our kids to be a part of.  They brought in the things from the porch, helped load the trailer, and went with us to drop it off at the Road Home.  Plus we spent a LOT of time during the week we did the drive to discuss homelessness and the importance of taking care of each other.